Dilemma

One week since the end of my rotation. The new role has been interesting, and leaving the office everyday with daylight to spare has been pretty darn good.

Maybe now I'll start getting back into the groove for squash and floorball again.

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In other matters, it feels like he's trying really hard, and I'm not so sure I'm on the same page. I even wonder, is he feeling the lack of sincere attention from me on some subconscious level and compensating for it? Recently he's been trying to strike up conversations here and there, and talking about his life with renewed vigour. I can't say I'm doing the same though. Even his invitation to chat is not very welcome...

I've started looking up links like "How to end a LDR", or "When do you know your relationship is ending?" etc... I think this probably had lots to do with my talk with Evelyn and then YY in the past 2 weeks... And today, I saw somewhere that one of the most terrifying things about getting together with someone is that you might either end up together forever, or breaking up at some point, and both are equally terrifying prospects. So true.

And even though verbally I say I am trying to give him space and time to find himself, I just can't find the sincerity to substantiate that. Especially when he lets on that he went to bed at 5am and skipped dinner for some school club that he can't seem to distangle himself from. I don't get why, and I'm not even sure I want to.

"Do you still feel for him?" ... How the heck would I know. Sometimes, I think this relationship is becoming more of a "thinking" relationship than "feeling". Blah.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~