O zest, where art thou?

Hmm. Somethings up with me but... I can't get my finger on what it is. I'm freaking sure its not PMS. Cuz its not like this. I'm just like... automatically moving thru life, with no life in me at all. The good thing is, I can kinda hide it from people by just saying to my classmates that 'Oh its just hockey la. Been training hard and frequent.' Or they simply assume it is anyway. And to the hockers I can simply shrug it off as 'Homework and lack of sleep la, no biggie!' -hugeesmile-

I've been unenthusiastic about hockey; zoned out during lessons; drifting from friends. I don't know wtf is wrong with me. I should be counting my bloody blessings - being healthy, being (rather) fit, being in a top institution, being in a fun class full of funkeh ppl, being a daughter of liberal, not naggy and not kiasu parents... So much soooo much to say thank you for. Yet I'm fucking here just fucking down and not fucking knowing why. Shit!

I dont kno why the captaincy issue keeps popping up. Its starting to irritate me atrociously. (But then again everything is too lol.) Shouldn't everyone worry about tournament, play their hearts out, and celebrate with tears (be it happy or sad) first?! What's the big deal anyway... But since we're on this topic, I really pity next year's captain though. P au has set such high standards and since she's the only captain we've ever known, thus she's the only benchmark we have... The first is always the most unforgettable if not the best, it always seems.

I wanna go run. Feel the strain. Relish the ache. Will the push. Release myself.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~