oh yea so reluctant to sleep man i. wuz supposed to go snow city with tsai. but as usual didnt materialise. i've learnt not to hope too much from these kinda stuff so i didnt feel bad this time and i didnt wait how many hours for just her reply that shes going her aunts hse to play mahjong. snort. im shying away from ppl again. i just dun wanna say anything. and im sneering at lotsa stuff now, albeit inwardly. like eunice. i dunno why. i dun really like her that much. its just.. shes kinda weird.. like talks abt herself.. but when u like ask her to do smth like teach u guitar she just stares at u in this funny manner. like wth u wanna learn for. sigh. and like last time i wuz out with her. i listened as usual. heh. i dunno. blah. im so disgruntled why why why.. sigh.. whyyyyyyyyyyyy... nothing i do is like happy anymore. heh at least i dun spend money hopefully. must save. save. save. in a saving mood right now. i think i can forget abt my jacks place lunch. im drifting like a long in the endless turbulent oceans, tossed and battered, bruised, hurt, yet reluctant to splinter into tiny pieces. clinging on to all my wood fibres yet being drained slowly of substance, mentally, physically, emotionally. wow getting poetic. mad liao. im not going to ask anyone out. not unless i really have to. it doesnt pay to have high hopes and then feel rejected. and i hate myself everytime i feel disappointed cuz of such stuff. plus going out uses money. no way. most times im happy to get a day to rest anw. sigh need to regroup myself. use glustick to stick my falling self back into one whole piece. sigh. sigh. shld i go sleep? =/ think i shall get a cuppa ice water.... sigh...... shld start doing history. nods.. water made me feel betta. slightly. more awake too. talk later.

'in ur darkest hour, look up and u'll see theres always a star with u' =)