hi. had interhse squash todaY! SO FUN! well my match wuz fun la. haha but aiya a bit sad, only played one match haha. against charmaine this sec 2 or 3 girl from bball i think. if i rmb right. apparently shes an ex squasher. haha so cool. ehh i realised i served differently from everyone. i wonder why they serve the way they do.. hmm... i wanna play more! haha. we got fourth. sounds good right? =P but then tarbet didnt show at all, so that effectively made us last =P lol. but i had fun. i think the girl not very fu qi with me. haha. i tyco tyco then hit wahhh then she cannot return. so cool yah. haha. but now easy cuz like starting out and like not doing all those funny hard stuff. i think im seriously improving my drills. i can push the bar now. and my right foot doesnt rest as often. i realised the way to get it right, is not by thinking and remembering. i rmb i used to say that everythings a blur when i turned so i cldnt like step forward when i wuz facing throwing dir heh. but then i realised why now. i shld be FEELING instead of thinking. like suddenly yest altho doing drills and super tired but then i cld feel when my right feet rested! and and i could actually hear my rhythm now! if only my actual throw could improve =/ i think im the only person who aches everywhere after gym. hrm why arh.. im so weak ah =/ lol dun care la. crap missing trng on thurs cuz of geog class i thot 26th wuz friday! dammit. ugh. lol im so committed now. i've neva been like this before. i mean i wuz hdwking in pri school. but that wuznt like now where i have a target. im so glad i'm given a chance to be able to like smth and committ to it. its been too long since i had that feeling. now i wanna study even harder. must get all a1s. must. at least 7. must. i found the perfect perfect totally perfect plan. i must study hard. contribute in class. and NOT fall asleep. must. i really wanna go pearson. omg. i want it soooo bad. i neva wanted anything this bad.. not that i cld rmb. and im actually willing to work towards it. its like how i felt when i promised myself to commit to trng. theres just like this sense of i must do it feeling. heh. i will hold thru. i hope. omg i really wanna go. im so scared now. what if i dun get it? haha must start planning. it said there are like a few hundred applicants from one single area sometimes. >.< WORK HARDER! i feel so grateful to debra and nadia. if she didnt mention it to me i wldnt have known it existed. gosh. pls let me try my best. and if i dun get it, pls let me be happy for whoeva got it and to still make the best of my life. I REALLY WANNA GOOOOO. im so scared to mention it to anyone. i might go talk to debra tho. since she got in. im too scared i'll only raise my hopes. im super sure my dad will agree. SUPER SURE. mbbe my mum too. but she'll need convincing a lil mbbe. but the finance part is like solved if i get in. oh gosh. lol i betta stop talking abt it. i pissed aar off =P hehe. he blocked me! and i decided to del him today cuz i trust that hes not like me blocking and unblocking him psh. i finally told him that i dun want him to like me. bcuz it just raises my hopes and all but deep down i really think hes just playing with me tho he denies it every single time that sometimes it sounds so convincing cuz he doesnt seem to get mad tho i always say it. but i mean come on. wat person would go like cyber with other ppl if u like someone else? okay at least not me. and wat person would go tell someone that he'll be her slave if he likes someone else? and he says exactly the same thing to the one he likes? and simple question also lie... might be white lie.. but its the most impt thing dun u think? if u cant even be honest abt things that dun really matter, wat more abt huge stuff. heh. and like i kno hes just desperate for company and lonely. i really want to be his fren cuz hes cool and all and i wanna help him outta his stupid im so alone and lonely shit. but like ugh. he keeps asking me stuff like do u think its possible for us to blah blah i forgot liao ahha. oh well. i feel like sending him a mail with more song lyrics. dun want it to end so ugly. and i like sharing songs =) crap im feeling sleepy.. NOOOOO.. still got mngment ws left. and bio to study. gulps. byee =) thanks for always being here to read/listen lol.

'in ur darkest hour, look up and u'll see theres always a star with u' =)