Hard work is all that counts in this world

It's been nigh 3 months since the last post - a testament to how busy school life has been. Whoever said the worst was over with the As blatantly lied. Uni class timetables may be alot more relaxed but the work load is much heavier. The sudden switch to emphasis on consistent work compared to the hard mugging just before the exams leaves me quite breathless. That's not to say that I'm actually working hard now; in fact I'm just way behind in every module.

That's why this reminder is of utmost import:

- No module lower than grade 3.5 (B)
- First semester CAP of 4.2
- I want to do honours
- Hopefully First Class Honours (CAP 4.5 + Aminus)
- I want to try for USP

I have to, have to, remember why I'm here:

I'm here to get my degree; I'm here to not let myself down;

I'm here to study.

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It certainly helps that a certain friend has been making me feel like a jock recently. Half of me is amused, for I finally reached my goal of having people think I'm quite brainless. Yet I can't help but have this amusement tinged with irritation as the teasing accumulates. It's one thing to pretend to be stupid when people know you're not, but yet another to be thought of as actually stupid.

Half of me really wants to thank him too; because he's helping me wake up. The irritation lurks but the seed of determination is sown as well - I want to see his face when I get a CAP of 4.2. Whoever said you can't be good at sports, play sports all the time and get good grades??

That's just what I'm going to bloody do.

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Another friend is ringing warning bells in my head too, this time about matters of the heart. I don't know what is it about him; but it makes me feel almost addicted to his company or something. Yet each time it just leaves a bitter aftertaste that accumulates into something that can no longer be ignored. Doesn't help that the good-friend-or-confidant-potential seems to have faded off, leaving me wanting to open up but not really comfortable in doing so. Sometimes I can't help but get the feeling that he's playing on the good feelings I have for him, making me feel all the more like an idiot. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but this friendship has gotten much more complicated/troublesome than I thought it'd be or like it to be.

I need to stay away.

Please, stay away.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~