blahhh. everyone around me is depressed. im worried for mar, scared for zul but i dunno wat the hell to do. i just want to reach thru and hug them. i think im a really physical person. blah. i hope they all take care of themselves. -scared-
i think im getting addicted to aaron. hes like.. how nice when hes nice. only talked for like 2-3 days and like wow.. hes so different. for once he doesnt start calling me names.. not the bad ones at least =P and like he so good at sweet talk. the other time i mentioned aarons change to jtwk and he struck a nail on the head when he asked if im scared i'll fall for him. =/ but he just makes me feel so great. rofl. but im scared. cuz like. hes where in the world? and like i dunno wats he like irl and he doesnt kno wat im like irl. guys said they'll wait for me i just snorted at them knowing its not true and they go and prove me right. the other day i wuz so touched cuz aaron stayed up just to try and see me. until 7.30. but i think now hes gonna change his attitude twds me cuz i told him i only like him as a fren. he didnt get all the hidden msgs that i didnt dare say outright to him whilst discussing some really sensitive topics that i took alot of guts to talk abt. sigh. but i dunno whether i like him or if its just that im so desperate for someone just to be there for me and call my own or that flattery is really getting to me. i just kno i wanna talk to him again. he sounded so.. sad and disappointed after my answer that night. and that night i cldnt sleep all that well. which is amazing for someone like me who just plonks right on the bed and sleeps. everytime i almost fell asleep i'd suddenly think of the convo and feel... bad.. and some other feeling. haish. dunno la.
stupid. arman, chastain and chubb got binklys eq and everything. dm. titan tattoo. ultra runes. sigils. mitrill stuff. and they're not returning. assholes. im sorry. i just thot theyd have more integrity than this. i'd thot that they wouldnt be seduced by the powerful stuff they got their hands on to. blah. im so bitter and cynical now. all cuz i think these ppl are bsing me abt their reasons for keeping the stuff. probably cuz they cant get it in a thousand years. all the effort wasted. if it wuz me. i'll go on another killing spree dammit. fking bitch fiona. all her fking fault. she cldnt keep her damn mouth shut. fking. whyd she come back and play. and like the coward she is she didnt come out after. fkbitch. and when arman told me wateva shit he told me i tried so fking hard to stay polite and nice and not snicker in his face. pigasses. grrr. fk. need to calm down. getting worked up over a fking game. stupid issy. so biased. now i totally dunno which imm to bliv in...
mrs wong told me today that if i go for trng 3 times a week regularly from now til july i can throw 30m. and im taking her up on her word. blah. i really want to throw at least 25. haha. but u kno how ure scared to aim high cuz if u fall wayyy off ur target u feel damn bad. hhaah... coward. me. coward. me. sigh. sometimes the world just seems gray.
'in ur darkest hour, look up and u'll see theres always a star with u' =)
i think im getting addicted to aaron. hes like.. how nice when hes nice. only talked for like 2-3 days and like wow.. hes so different. for once he doesnt start calling me names.. not the bad ones at least =P and like he so good at sweet talk. the other time i mentioned aarons change to jtwk and he struck a nail on the head when he asked if im scared i'll fall for him. =/ but he just makes me feel so great. rofl. but im scared. cuz like. hes where in the world? and like i dunno wats he like irl and he doesnt kno wat im like irl. guys said they'll wait for me i just snorted at them knowing its not true and they go and prove me right. the other day i wuz so touched cuz aaron stayed up just to try and see me. until 7.30. but i think now hes gonna change his attitude twds me cuz i told him i only like him as a fren. he didnt get all the hidden msgs that i didnt dare say outright to him whilst discussing some really sensitive topics that i took alot of guts to talk abt. sigh. but i dunno whether i like him or if its just that im so desperate for someone just to be there for me and call my own or that flattery is really getting to me. i just kno i wanna talk to him again. he sounded so.. sad and disappointed after my answer that night. and that night i cldnt sleep all that well. which is amazing for someone like me who just plonks right on the bed and sleeps. everytime i almost fell asleep i'd suddenly think of the convo and feel... bad.. and some other feeling. haish. dunno la.
stupid. arman, chastain and chubb got binklys eq and everything. dm. titan tattoo. ultra runes. sigils. mitrill stuff. and they're not returning. assholes. im sorry. i just thot theyd have more integrity than this. i'd thot that they wouldnt be seduced by the powerful stuff they got their hands on to. blah. im so bitter and cynical now. all cuz i think these ppl are bsing me abt their reasons for keeping the stuff. probably cuz they cant get it in a thousand years. all the effort wasted. if it wuz me. i'll go on another killing spree dammit. fking bitch fiona. all her fking fault. she cldnt keep her damn mouth shut. fking. whyd she come back and play. and like the coward she is she didnt come out after. fkbitch. and when arman told me wateva shit he told me i tried so fking hard to stay polite and nice and not snicker in his face. pigasses. grrr. fk. need to calm down. getting worked up over a fking game. stupid issy. so biased. now i totally dunno which imm to bliv in...
mrs wong told me today that if i go for trng 3 times a week regularly from now til july i can throw 30m. and im taking her up on her word. blah. i really want to throw at least 25. haha. but u kno how ure scared to aim high cuz if u fall wayyy off ur target u feel damn bad. hhaah... coward. me. coward. me. sigh. sometimes the world just seems gray.
'in ur darkest hour, look up and u'll see theres always a star with u' =)
posted by fallen star at 11:08 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home