Why

Feeling somewhat disjointed, dazed and deflated as of late. Maybe I'm just feeling disturbed by the upcoming birthday, but I can't for the love of me, figure out why...

Seem to be losing interest in her company too, and our worlds seem to be drifting apart. It's as though my person only desires the company of that someone, yet my head constantly battles this notion. Sending an sms takes countless mindvsheart battles that lasts over a day; one successful hour won just means the desire snowballs over to the next. This is really quite taxing; do I have it bad or what?

That's half the content that fills my head; the rest is just a sense of discontent with who I am now. Evaluating my own character once again I guess, and the new desires/wants/notions that have popped up just recently. I seem to be changing - more shallow even.

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That supposedly one special day is taxing my nerves too. I can't figure out what to do with it and who to spend it with and what I want. Hell, I do know what I want, I just don't let myself do what I want all the time of course. Else I'll be spoilt silly, and a totally different person. There's almost a tension that's building up within, and I can't seem to find its root or stem this tide.

Maybe some sleep would do me good...

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~