Restless in Tokyo

Had a second trial lesson today - totally scared the guy away lol. But I just came outta it feeling bombed out and useless and once again the floating-soul feeling.

I'm...restless. To say the least. Popped by the school equivalent of CCA fair today too - and was once again reminded of how energetic my school can be and how I feel so old and jaded about it; and oh, once again felt how my Japanese sucks too yeah. I'm looking forward to school starting - probably cuz I'm restless and there really doesn't seem to be much I can take part in school thanks to the language barrier and the in-and-out-group attitude of Japanese. And yet, I'm not really looking forward to the awkward stage of making new acquaintances again. Sigh.

I really am a hermit.

Really...restless.

Funny that I'm feeling that way in such a vibrant place too - vibrant only in the sense of the sheer amount of people in this area... But sometimes, I can't help but wonder if the energies of this huge mass of people are simply too... uni-directional? School, juku, entrance examinations, jobhunting, finding a girlfriend/boyfriend, interview upon interview, getting a job, working 9am to 12mn, marriage, more work, then finally retirement?

I need something to whip me back into perkiness. Maybe I really do need to get a job - not so much for the money but for the activity of something to occupy my time with. Even floorball is losing its lustre with all my friends leaving or having already left. Sigh.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~