Zomg Day

Today started off on a HORRID note. At least from PE on... Ran 5 rounds in about 10.40 and then imm rushed to the toilet cuz my stomach/abdomen wuz hurting so freaking badly. I sat on the toilet thinking it was some normal thing, you know, like either stomach ache, or food poisoning, or like maybe abdominal muscle strained or somethingggg... And NO, it wouldnt go away! I think I writhed in pain in the toilet cubicle for like freaking 15 mins, cuz I just couldn't gather the strength to stand up and get out. My god, it was so fucking horrible =/ I don't ever EVER want to go thru it again. When I finally steeled myself to leave the cubicle, all I did next was to curl up in the corner of the toilet. STUPID PAIN WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE! And I couldnt rmb if the appendix wuz on the left or right =/ Argh. And the toilet aunty took so long to realise that I was in pain. I was so in pain that I was dripping sweat la. =( And I called so many times! "Aunty... Aunty.. Aunty..." But maybe I was whimpering or something. UGh mygosh, such a bad bad bad experience.. =/ Dont ever come again pls pls pls. Finally some teachers came and made me lie down on the bench and it started getting better yeah... But I was so scared something was wrong with me that wouldn't let me train! So after a long time, finally decided to go see a doctor. Turns out it was probably menstrual cramps cuz I got it when I reached the clinic. Omg, I hope it wouldn't turn into something frequent! I used to think having cramps is a sissy and wussy excuse for ponning pe, school, everything. Well... I still think so, but at least now I can understand what some people go thru. SUCKS.

Played a match against seniors. Not that bad, held pretty well but we still need ALOT of polishing. Gave a team talk, but somehow I feel as though my pep talks don't work. Am I not passionate enough? Not strict enough? Not what enough?!?!? Sigh. SIGH. Why am I such a freaking lousy captain... So many mistakes, so few things done right... IF any at all rofl. Fuggers. Dammit. I wish I had more time, because only with time and experience do I learn... NOT ENOUGH TIME! Make do, make do.

At least the day ended on a high note. =) Dinner at Adam Rd, and we walked there... -.-'' And then! Dinner took like 230989075 days to come, after 2139839027 "bang, our food ready or not?!"But the conversation flowed, alot of laughter, alot of hunger pangs. And then, more laughter. Life feels good at times like these... =) <3 Sigh. If only I could get more ppl to do stuff like that... Together... Sigh.

Makes me think of what serj was talking about the other day, about capricorns imposing their standards on others. I do that alot, but at the same time, I can step into their shoes and see the other side... Wonder if it's a good thing or bad... I can understand, yet I want to push for more... In the end I don't, but I'm just simply left with a cumulating bunch of question marks... Blah.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~