Finality

Tomorrow is Farewell Assembly, the official farewell for J2s. Last official day of school was recent Friday, but the three weeks up till As are still packed with revision lectures and mock exams. I've finally almost completely discarded the idea of Cornell, because 1) I don't really see myself there 2) I think I'm just lingering on it because of the good food, good bf pool (-blinkblinkwtflol- right? rofl), good location and because it was once my dream school... Just when I thought I'm settled with my choices, up pops Williams again thanks to Be-rt. It has also become an excuse to not continue with filling up my apps. Haha ugh whatever, I don't care. Tomorrow I had better pass the teacher ref envelopes to the teachers already. It's been rotting in my bag for like more than a week!

Results were BBCO B3, and if compared with Promos, exactly the same grades hehe. No improvement huh. Econs doesn't seem to be the problem anymore. Suddenly I feel that I can make it, with effort put in of course, but yeah, it just isn't out of reach anymore. A stream of light in the darkness eh? Now the problem shifts to maths again. It's not so much the O grade, but the feeling of ugh-ness during the exam. The blank-mind, though to a lesser extent, and feelings of panic and meticulousness, because I'm afraid to make mistakes in ink.... They're all cropping up again. Dammit. Detrimental shit. Oh yeah that reminds me, SATS this coming Saturday and I've yet to do a single practice paper. And there's maths too, and supposedly 'easy maths' which is the bane of my life because for some reason or other, my 'hard maths' always > than my "easy maths".

Oh well... something to look forward to tmr. Hockey gathering! Maybe my babes can cheer me up and re-ignite the dying spark in me. I feel like I'm wilting this past month, lack of sun, lack of fun, just a lack of activity overall... Too many questions, decisions, and the burdensome thought of having to study for another month.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~