Blessed

I'm much happier these days. With school and sports and just basically being able to be preoccupied. Even though each day ends early, the sense of business is still there. These few days have made me realised how much I'm blessed with. I already knew it all along, I just never really felt it. Let's see, school-wise... well grades aren't really going well, in fact they just hit rock-bottom. Bam. F.O.C. Wake up darling, this isn't honeymoon year anymore... Anyway, I really do have to thank my friends, the same ones I sometimes chuckle at and have a mental roll-eyes thingy at. She lamented a few times in the recent days that "her life is so hard" and I just gave a laugh. I start listing the things that she is blessed with and then she grudgingly admits it;but of course, human beings are hardly ever satisfied with the present. Another close friend wishes she was luckier, so she could simply find a husband, marry him and just be contented. I have no issues with her lack or direction or drive, but I immediately pounced on the idea that she is not fortunate. She's gotten into the top schools without much effort, made the girls' hockey team (outta 100+ others), became the vice captain, is rather skilful without having to work very hard, achieves decent grades without much work, has lots of close friends and is pretty with sparkling eyes, clear skin and great hair. Not lucky? Not fortunate? I hardly think so.

So, with all these verbal lists of good stuff about people around me, I naturally started thinking about me. And.. hey! I'm blessed too! I have a great family- supportive, liberal parents and brothers to spice up my life. I perform pretty well in various sports and pick most up easily. Garnered opportunities to develop my strength of character and leadership style and I receive recognition from others. I don't have terrible pockmark-leaving acne, nor am I balding or obese; I'm not too slow or too awkward in movement, nor am I slow-witted or blissfully dumb. I'm not performing academically atm, but hey, that's all due to my own attitude. Under-performing;in fact, not even trying to achieve much of my potential. I realised something important this cts: there are many things I cannot change nor control, but one thing I definitely can, is the attitude I set about facing life with. I took several papers with an amazingly heck-care attitude, not even bothering to finish my papers, not a single one. Then I realised, even if I didn't want to study, that kind of attitude was the worst- the most disgusting thing ever.

I'm blessed with so much, yet I seem afraid to step forward and achieve that much. Such a coward. Suddenly my life seems a little more happy and a little more hopeful again. The seeds were already planted 18 years, 7 months and 9 days ago. The little sapling has been growing, albeit crooked at times and in occasional, infrequent spurts. The cloudy grey skies have cleared, and all looks well and bright again. Reach for the sun, babe, and grow the tallest you ever can. Don't ever sell yourself short on the lamest excuse of cowardice.

I'm going for it.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~