Wearied

Mambo last night was fun; but awkward at some points, especially towards the end...

I'm really getting tired of this. I feel like I'm strung out, waiting to be plucked and the tension is getting to me. It's only been a week since I've been back, but it definitely feels longer. I've always been a pretty black-and-white person, all-or-nothing. And this gray, gray matter is just really grating on my nerves. I really need to resolve it, otherwise it just won't get outta my head -- 24/7.

I always feel an inch closer to quitting this game; but then I'll start wondering if I'm too hasty and should be more forgiving, so that takes half an inch back. Sigh. This back-and-forth tango in my mind is just killing me; what a marked difference to the stangnance of our relationship.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~