Someone like you... in a week
Just spoke to M- on the phone... conversation kinda took a weird turn...
He's also coming in a week... and the nearer it gets, the more surreal it seems. Plus I start to think, and think. Think about where life is going, and where I want it to go. I'm three months into my job now and learning a lot and enjoying it even as it frustrates the hell out of me. But I think that's good - it just means I have more to learn. At the same time, I cannot say that I am any less directionless than I was three to four months before, before I started working.
So I chose a job, but I'm still not sure where I wanna be heading in life.
And somehow that topic came up today while we were chatting. And when I tried to convey some of the understandings I had of the situation, like M- coming over to Singapore to work, it just kinda sounded wrong when it crystallizes into words. Today was a little like a train wreck - speeding away crazily but not knowing how to stop it.
Somehow, at some point, it seems that maybe our visions for life have started diverging... I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just reading them differently.
2 weeks from now is going to be pivotal moment, in my life. Maybe. I just hope I won't majorly screw it up for the wrong reasons.
I really don't know where this is going. And I'm not sure how far more I am willing to walk to find out. Talking to LP at the bus stop today kinda solidified a lot of these feelings, plus the fact that he's going to be here in a week's time.
At some point, I don't really know when, I started feeling stressed that he's coming. Just hoping it will not overwhelm the excitement.
~ st*rcr*ss*d ~
He's also coming in a week... and the nearer it gets, the more surreal it seems. Plus I start to think, and think. Think about where life is going, and where I want it to go. I'm three months into my job now and learning a lot and enjoying it even as it frustrates the hell out of me. But I think that's good - it just means I have more to learn. At the same time, I cannot say that I am any less directionless than I was three to four months before, before I started working.
So I chose a job, but I'm still not sure where I wanna be heading in life.
And somehow that topic came up today while we were chatting. And when I tried to convey some of the understandings I had of the situation, like M- coming over to Singapore to work, it just kinda sounded wrong when it crystallizes into words. Today was a little like a train wreck - speeding away crazily but not knowing how to stop it.
Somehow, at some point, it seems that maybe our visions for life have started diverging... I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just reading them differently.
2 weeks from now is going to be pivotal moment, in my life. Maybe. I just hope I won't majorly screw it up for the wrong reasons.
I really don't know where this is going. And I'm not sure how far more I am willing to walk to find out. Talking to LP at the bus stop today kinda solidified a lot of these feelings, plus the fact that he's going to be here in a week's time.
At some point, I don't really know when, I started feeling stressed that he's coming. Just hoping it will not overwhelm the excitement.
~ st*rcr*ss*d ~
posted by fallen star at 11:57 PM
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