Result

Omg, I have to say this.

It's AWESOME! Haha okay perhaps I'm a tad biased but really, it didn't turn out a nightmare at all!

The turmeric+milk+vinegar marinade tasted yummy. And the pork slices are tender and cooked just right. By some chance, I got the timing perfect haha. The sauce is abit too sweet for my liking, probably due to the large splash of vinegar and too little water. I could have also added all the ginger, which would have added a nice bite to the too-sweet sauce. I almost added milk, but didn't end up daring enough. But, whatever. I think this is a wonderful wonderful first experiment.

If only my parents could be home early and get to try it now. Food, cold and reheated, is never quite the same as just out of the pan and into the plate. That's one of the greatest problems of cooking for a family -- the food has to be kept for hours sometimes. Busy schedules and packed classes.

Nonetheless, the feeling of having discovered some yummy food, which -- cue gasp -- I concocted is really quite glowing. But now, I really understand why they say: good food is meant to be shared. Especially when you cooked it. I can't imagine the joy to be quite as complete if there was only me to eat it.

Cheers =)

(P.S. I have to say I feel very arty-farty today because I paired my dishes up so beautifully colourwise and cuisine-wise. The vegetables were cauliflower fried with red chilli strips, julienned carrots, bits of broccoli and garlic -- a beautifully vibrant dish and very Chinese. Then the pork tenderloin slices with a hint of the spicy turmeric and sweet-with-a-tinge-of-sour vinegar sauce finished monte au beurre (So pro eh! I know french cooking terms! Rofl =P) -- which give a wonderful Western-Indian counter to the vegetable dish. Lastly, something so simply as buttered fluffy rice -- a rather Indian/Chinese thing -- completing and enhancing all the different flavours. Ahhh...)

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Experiment... = Nightmare...?

Cooking dinner again tonight. But, omg, I think I made a mess. I was itching to do one of those western-style pork loins/chops with the tenderloin I have in the fridge. My mum already told me the marinade of the pork slices fried with ginger that I really like, but I was really really inclined towards testing out some of my 'newly-acquired' skills and techniques. 'Newly-acquired' because that only meant I watched some videos of cooking techniques and culinary skills. And, I wasn't following any particular recipe or measurements or marinade. That would have been called creativity or originality if I were a professional kitchen chef I guess. But no, when you're an n00b-slash-chef-wannabe like me, that would mean... disaster.

Right now, the fingers on my left hand are smarting crazily from the two wrinkled red chillis I chopped earlier. I need to find a way to stop it man. Isn't some kinda alkaline suppose to react with the acidity and stop the hurting? Yeah well, so I tried washing my hands with milk, after all you're supposed to drink milk to wash away the chilli-hotness. But, I guess that only works with tastebuds and tongues. Not quite the same, if even any, effect on fingers huh?

Anyway, I had this great inexplicable urge to use turmeric in the pork tenderloin. Yeah I know, doesn't go does it. That's not all the bad part man. So I seasoned with black pepper, and salted one side (before I remembered I was supposed to only salt before searing I think). Then I had a mad dash of brilliance, or so I thought, and 'poof'! Down went a cloud of yellow turmeric powder. Dumped the tenderloins back into the plastic bag it came in, and put in the fridge to marinate. After half an hour and a few google searches for the uses of turmeric, I start getting worried, because it seems all turmeric is used for is 1) curry and 2) as a poor replacement for saffron. How sad is that for the life of a spice. No particular identity or multi-uses of its own?? Worse still, I couldn't seem to find any spices that were supposed to go with pork... Even if I did, I highly doubted turmeric would be one of those listed. Well okay so I had a brainwave, yes, another one -- probably equally disastrous one too. I recalled a buttermilk chicken recipe which used the buttermilk to tenderise and flavour the chicken, so I thought: hey! how about milk and vinegar? That way, I could wash off some of the turmeric and perhaps tenderise the pork! Err yeah, so I did that too. In went some apple cider vinegar and milk. Well.... so now it's sitting in the fridge marinating and steeping in those weird stuff. I have noo idea whatsoever as to how it'll turn out, but I just hope it'll be edible... I haven't decided what I want to do with the pan drippings, or 'fond' as I learnt from the cooking videos, because that was all that I really wanted to work with at the start. I was thinking, vinegar and chinese cooking wine and milk. Then I thought, shucks, maybe that's too much and too odd a mix. So now I'm thinking maybe vinegar (since it's already in) and maybe water with shallots and ginger (since I already chopped those two for some reason) and worse comes to worse. I'll whisk in butter in the end OR I'll just drop in some heavy cream and pass it off as a cream sauce XD Awweeesome, girl. Now let's just hope no one has a weak stomach tonight.

They're still smarting.


Ow.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Morose

I'm feeling useless and alone again. Lol. Maybe it's birthday blues? Or new year blues? I dunno. I'm resisting change and feeling unadventurous these days. I really don't look forward to the new year or the foray into the overworked and under-happy rat race. I'll probably learn alot of valuable lessons, but I'm facing the fact that I have to make friends again with trepidation. I'm not sure I can still be friendly and happy all the time. It's... taxing.

I dunno what's wrong with me - sitting here feeling so... emotionally lethargic. And so stupid, but I felt so sad when I heard that xx got the job at mondial because it was the first thing that I actually felt I won't mind working for. I guess I'm really picky, but thing is, I realised I'm not really into it for the money and practicality only. I really want to learn something from it. I know, I'm picky and I probably have no right to be, but... I really don't want to feel like I wasted 6 months doing something I didn't want to do right from the start. I'm way past that kinda stage where I just go with what's the easiest or what everyone is doing, just for the sake of doing it. The 4 years was a good enough lesson and I don't want to repeat that kind of feeling and stagnation. No point in learning a lesson then ignoring that lesson right - that's how regrets are created.

My father suggested I ask my third aunt about a job in HK and that really appealed to me. Ridiculously enough, especially so after I heard that xx got the job. Almost as though I lost a bf and so taking time away rofl. So stupid. What the hell is wrong with me.

Oh there's more. I told d- earlier that one half of me kinda prides myself on the fact that my friends don't really know my birthday, but then again the other half scoffs at it and asks wtf is so prideful about that. I don't really know why I'm so extreme about keeping it quiet. I know I don't like baying about it and demanding presents because I don't want people to feel obligated about it... Yet, I can't deny that when people know its my birthday, I feel quite happy. I don't know. Sigh. I think it's some kinda inferiority complex. Instead of feeling disappointed that nobody cares that it's my birthday (made worse by the fact that it's so early), I can say that its ME who didn't want them to know? Sigh. Psychological crap. Argh.

I'm starting to feel the way I did at the start of the last june. Kinda worrying, especially hello, tmr's your birthday girl, what's there to be sad about?! Right. I should be feeling special now since those only happen once a year and never again in your life. But maybe the problem is, I don't exactly feel special... Back to the emotional funk. Fuck. I better find something to do/interest me/learn soon. I don't want to get into that sorta emotional low again... Too many in too short a period. And it sucked. Bigtime.

Why the hell did I tear just now.

67 mins more of being 18...

Put on a brave smile and move on girl!

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~