One Quiet Moment

I liked how we held hands on that short bus ride back.
The smallest things make me happy; I'm so easy. But why do I have a feeling that it's just you...

=)

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Little Actions

I do declare, that ys- has to be one of the nicest people I know. It's just in those little things he does and says, so imperceptible but that's what makes them charming really. Like when he efficiently cuts the chicken wing in half for me, and sticks his leg out casually so as to ward the cat off from me, and asking me to sleep because I haven't had any the night before.

I'm really so glad to have a friend like him; yes, just counting my blessings now and he's definitely one of them. It'll be so sad when next semester comes around and both my supper khakis and only 2 new friends who are good friends won't be around... I feel like a small sigh now, but somehow I have a feeling this friendship will last anyway, so no need to sigh! What a positive outlook and friendship =)


Hmm, but I'm not so sure about relationships though. No precedents so I have no idea what it should be like, if there's any ideal model that is. Yet somehow I find myself questioning my place even though it's still a head vs heart thing. And possibly just a cynical thing. It's not having any negative impact as yet - at least I think so - but I can't guarantee that it wouldn't... Sometimes I think good friends are way more orgasmic and enjoyable than anything more.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Somehow...

I'm feeling... dissatisfied - not sure if that captures what I'm feeling; words are a poor substitute sometimes - for some reason and I don't really know why. Something's... gnawing at me.

Sigh.

Part of me wonders if it's because of him...us...? But I'm not sure what about that either.

Sometimes, just sometimes, the pessimistic, overly-independent side of me wonders if this was all such a good idea anyway...

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

I<3I_I

Today was pretty nice, to say the least. Didn't get up in time for class so just met up with t-h and ch-s for lunch. Spent proper time with him after that; for once I'm not just slipping in in the dark. Watched a korean war movie which was quite sad but I certainly can't complain about the company. Went out for dinner after that, and omg he gave me a IheartU fashioned out of his bus ticket. That so melted my heart all over again. Argh.

I'm still warring between my head and heart, my doubts and hopes, my cynical realism and romantic idealism. Tough.

---

Last night he came over to just spend time, albeit a little. This morning too. I realised it's times like this, when he shows that he wants to spend time with me, that I feel really happy.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Through the rosy lens?

Upon reflection, life is supposedly looking pretty good right now I guess...?

Vcapt, sportswoman, emceeing, someone to love, workntravel, pretty good last few games of fball, hallstay next yr, good friends, new friends...


But, I don't know if I'm just not someone who rests easy on my laurels? Or maybe I have high standards or I'm just not easily contented or something...

Vcapt - not sure what's there to congratulate/be jubilant about.
sportswoman - thanks for the recognition, appreciate it but i had more fun playing the sports i did.
emceeing - really quite an exp; glad i did it.
r - not so much fireworks as i thought it'd be, and i dunno if i'm just really cynical but i do wonder wat happens if we get bored and for how long we'll keep it up... insecurities tsk
workntravel - hope i dont grow fat =/ haha
fball - i'm actually getting sick of the game i think. thank goodness its over for now
hallstay - money issues sigh and the slight prick of accompanying guilt
acad - worrying. this sem is just freaking worrying. fuck.
friends - love them.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

An End or Beginning...?

Last night, I couldn't get him and the related issues off my mind. Tried to sleep for 1 hour + and finally msn'd him. Guess that was the start of it all. Talked this morning and I guess I'm finally done trying to hide from it, and from him. Embracing him just feels so... right.

This may have resolved some things - personal dilemmas and all - but it has certainly opened up an even bumpier road and perhaps left more questions unanswered. What should we do now? About h-? About y-? And I know I need time, just not sure how much exactly.

His words are certainly potent - sweet yet ringing with sincerity. But his look, that look when he eyes me with tenderness and with all his heart... My heart cannot resist it.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~