Coolest Dream Ever

I just had the awesomest dream...!

Started off with my dad in a Japanese diner, where they served the silken tofu in different sauces, or should I say in different wines/alcohols. Some of them you just ate like that, but some you had to pour the alcohol on top just before you took a bite. How cool was that!

That made me think of perhaps combining alcohol with some shoyu and sugar as the sauce for the tofu instead. With some umm fried ginger puree or garlic puree on the side. Weirdest combination I know.

Or also soaking the tofu in a flavourful alcohol overnight or something, before serving it with the usual shoyu-mirin sauce. Wow.

Then I suddenly had the idea of having tuna or salmon tartare with drops of high-percentage alcohol added at the end, or even better, letting it marinate/cook in the alcohol for 1-2 hours.

Damn... That was one yummy dream. Was it surprising then, that I half-woke up to find myself literally drooling. Lol. Embarrassing.

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Then there was a second part of the dream!

It was half-anime and half J-drama like, pretty cool, or at least, I sure felt so in the dream haha. Aww shucks though, that I can't quite remember the story line. But I remember the last part: the girl was stroking the hair of a sleeping Chado-type, when she felt compelled to call out this cool name that started with F (and I knew because, did I mention my dream had subtitles?!). And so she did, and the urge - stronger and even more compelling this time - hit again, and she did. Suddenly, there was this black opening of surge/power that spoke to her. She asked who/what it was of course, and it replied that it's the beast residing within the Chado-type guy! It then told her that she needed to return the mask to it, because that had been the object holding back this beast within. Hmm, and that the beast and the mask had been the two masterminds behind this story because they had come up with the dare for someone to steal the mask ...

Then I somehow wrenched myself outta sleep.

Oh well. Hehe. =)

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Embarrassing Moment 01

Omg I can't believe this: I'm sitting here watching youtube music videos of Devil Beside You and tearing! Goodness, I should get on with my studying and stop being so disgusting dammit....!

Such a girl ugh.

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Oh man, but I bet I'm gonna rewatch the show one day soon. My heart is gushing.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Conservative Me

I've never felt as stressed as just 5 mins before today's paper. Yes, I say stressed, and I've never ever said those three words before. Maybe it was just a slight panic attack but shit, it was something new to me. But wow, there was hell lotta adrenaline (and caffeine) rush too.

So I really don't know why you're really making such a huge fuss outta this when I'm already trying so much more than I have before - in all my 12 years of school. The more you show you're concerned, the more I feel like pushing it. It sucks, I'm sorry. I feel glad to be cared for, but I have this tendency to push boundaries to see how far they go. Don't you just wonder if unconditional love/care is actually possible? Hah.

I need to stop living my life in opposition to people.

---

I'm a confirmed conservative. That image/scene shocked me a while and I felt a tad traumatised and okay, disgusted. There I've said it. It was probably an innocent coincidence that they both turned at the same time and reached out for each other, but still... I've barely gotten over the idea that they can sleep together and then that happened. It would have been funny if taken right off some romantic comedy. Would have been...

And she doesn't seem to mind him being touchy and all? I guess for me physical proximity only comes after emotional closeness; it takes quite a lot to break down my emotional barriers. Unfortunately, new ones just keep getting erected. Plus the fact that she's attached? I don't know whether it should make everything okay or not okay. For once, I actually felt some sympathy for the bf. Because I suddenly wondered if he'd be okay with this and if he'd ever get so close... And somehow, I think not.

Poor boy.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Just One Wish

I don't think I'm really the type who gets homesick. I hardly go home every weekend because I find it too troublesome and almost as if a waste of time. Travelling time of course. Besides, my family members are all busy with their respective lives and I find going home just to be a respite for myself more than a way to spend family time.

Ever since coming to stay in hall 3 months ago, I've ever only had one desire: to go out with my family for a meal.

Simple as it sounds, it doesn't seem like it'll happen anytime soon...

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Sometimes my parents' marriage scares me. I look at it and think although it's not all that bad compared to some others, yet it's exactly because it seems average that it affects me so bad. If an average marriage turns out like that, with some highs and more lows, then what is there to look forward to??

Of all the things that happen, the one I'm most saddened and worried about is when one side seems to look down on the other...
To me, a marriage is a partnership for life; I simply cannot comprehend how to live in such a partnership with lack of respect, lotsa blame and no communication.

I'm too idealistic; that's probably why I'm so cynical.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~