Tuesday, March 30, 2010

日(本語)記#5

今日はSSRと一緒に過ごした。2時に新宿のメキシコ料理のレストランで会うことになっていたんだけど、私は寝坊から30分に遅くなった...>.< 本当にやばいと思った。今日はSSR日本での最後の日だっても、私が彼女を待たせた。最低ね。でも、彼女が私を易く許せた。いい友達ですね。ランチはこの前ようなにおいしかった。このレストランはジョンと奥さんの一番好きなメキシコ料理の店から、ジョンは私たちに紹介した。この店本当に美味しくて、ランチメニューも高くなくて、一人は1000円ぐらいなんだ。

ランチの後、SSRと一緒に新宿でぶらぶらした。そして、イチゴ大福をかった、Starbucksでコーヒーと食べた。私は初めてイチゴ大福を食べた、その前いつも「イチゴともちとあんこの組み合わせはちょっとおかしい」と思ってけど、食べたら、驚く(ほど?)美味しかったよ。この後、私たち二人もお腹いっぱいから、新宿から渋谷まで歩いた。SSRは7時にほかの友達は渋谷で合わないとから。当初、私はこの前帰ると思って、でもSSRの友達は英語の勉強がしたいから、私が手伝いことできるかなと思って、だからSSRと一緒に友達を会った。彼女もフロアボールをやる人で、ノルウェーに留学したいから英語のTOEFLテストが今年末前合格しなければならないの。やっと海外に留学したい日本人が会ったんだから、本当に良かったと思った。だから、私は日本にいるまで、なるべく彼女に手伝いますよ。でもさあ、SSRと彼女喋る時、SSRはノルウェー人でも、二人はペラペラ日本語で話してた。二人の話私が大体分かてるんでも、言いたい時考えたことをあまり言わなかった。悔しかったよ。この時、私本当に日本語の勉強は速くやりたくて、日本の友達と一緒にそんなにペラペラと話したいよ。だから、これからまた頑張らなければならないね。新学期も来週から始まるのに、日本語がだんだん上手になると想うかも。ただ、新学期で毎土曜日の朝に1ピリオドの日本語クラスがあるんの。なんで日本土曜日も学校行くのか本当にわからないよ!大変過ぎじゃないの?!でも私もしょがないね...日本語が上手になりたいのために、きっと日本語クラスしっかりするよ!


この春休みで日本語の勉強何でもしなかったから、日本語が悪化したかな...じゃ、私はできる唯一のことが今からもっと頑張るね =) 行きます!

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Labels: ,

News

Unexciting news of recent times:

1) School is starting in 1 week's time.
2) My laptop DIED.
3) There's apparently nothing that Fujitsu Service Centre can do for me.
4) I need my recovery disc.
5) Which I didn't bring with me to Japan.
6) Oh by the way, I'm captain.
7) J-n's leaving in May; S-ss-l's leaving tomorrow
8) Spring is supposedly here
9) But it's still 1 degree outside right now (WHY?!)
10) I'm a hungry, poor exchange student yet I'm putting on weight?!
11) I read Jane Eyre (book courtesy of Isbl;time courtesy of the comfy night bus back from Hiroshima).

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Labels: , , ,

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sunny days and life

A thought invariably occured to me earlier as I was walking to the computer lab at Building 22: Why is it that recently I always have something hanging over me, something I have to do, something to get done by a certain time, such that I never felt like I could just go out and enjoy the beautiful day and weather?

Is it the way I'm living life? Am I procrastinating too much? Or maybe it's just life giving me lemons. Well not exactly sour lemons, but juicy apples, refreshing oranges, energising bananas, and sweet strawberries too. So honestly, even whilst that thought occured to me, I do know that I should be nothing but grateful to always have something to do and something to look forward to.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Labels:

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Split and Overwhelmed

It's just sinking in still but I'm just plain... overwhelmed... Just... feeling bombarded really.

My second school term here has barely starting soon but already, a 'new' year is starting concurrently with it - back home. Not sure how to contend with the half of e here and the half of me that should be there; the half of me that is just starting the 2nd half of exchange here, and the half of me that will be starting a new 'year there. More than half of me still wants to go back to hide in my turtle shell and pretend my world is still the same as it was 2-3 hours ago.

Can I handle this...? Really?!

I'd hate to let everyone down who has somehow - and not sure why either - believed in me.


Oh gosh. I'm feeling the pressure - all the more because I'm so far away from the action. Play time is over babe. Over.



~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Labels: , , ,

The Little Bits Of...

Up till now, shreds of doubt still linger... just a little, a little - tugging each time... Not sure what I got myself into, but hopefully, just somehow, I know things will turn out alright... Not sure it's what I want right now right here; but sometimes, I feel like I'm getting too comfortable in my little bubble and I need to break out of it. Not everything that turns out for the better starts off sure and steady; that's where the hard work goes - to have luck and stars shine this way.

7am and time for bed.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Labels:

Friday, March 19, 2010

HK

Back from HK two days ago - can't say it was a very enjoyable trip but still an experience nevertheless.

Haven't heard ringtones that loud in a LONG while (not even in Singapore), the rude way of talking, the infamous service attitude, the unsuitable company... Even the food was nothing much, probably because 1) my brother wasn't interested in food 2) and he couldn't even tell what is Cantonese food or not 3) I've been fortunate enough to have tried so many comparable or even better Cantonese places over the years in Penang, Ipoh and Singapore...

Even the shopping was blah. But that's probably due to the disinterested brother as well.

Don't think I'll be back.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Friday, March 05, 2010

Rolly Coaster Ups and Downs

Been feeling a little restless - gray day last night, chilly and drizzly almost cold and dreary. Feeling a drop of enthusiasm for my chosen sport too, not to mention a huge drop in any performance. Topped with none other than the to-run-or-not-to-run issue...

Slept late - after being unable to change my stick blade and finally giving up on the stupid crashing MSN - and woke up even later. The day was bright and pretty so I just dragged myself out. But just couldn't find the perfect scrapbook - price or design wise - for whatever I had in mind. Disconcerted, lonely, restless.

The weird disjointed dreams that somehow rope in Hall have not been helping either. I don't dream very often.

Sat down for a cuppa at Velocce (no smoking thank god) and read the guidebook for HK. Not the best kinda read - disorientated, messy and mish-mash just like HK I guess - but at least I got it over with.

Came back and found the lovely postpac in my mailbox - so much love and sunshine for the soul all of a sudden. Dented a little by the garishly loud voices emanating from the communal kitchen - guess my quiet dinner would have to wait damn - but still the warmth persisted.

A calendar, a card and a book - that's all it takes to please me really. Oh, and of course all the accompanying love and "i miss you" that comes with it.

Thank you - really. The timing could not have been better. <3

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Labels: , , ,

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Ponderings

YL just mailed me to ask me to rethink regarding running for elections as Capt. Oh gosh, totally stressing me out a little because

1) my immediate reaction is "Yada~~~!"
2) I wanna relax a little, have some space to "shake leg" in Year 4
3) I wanna take on a part-time job
4) if I stay in hall, I definitely won't be able to resist joining 3million4hundred6thousandand1 little things
5) but if I take up captaincy then I have to focus on that! >.<
6) I don't wanna end up disliking floorball like in year 2
7) I want to improve as a player - as far as I can!! ~selfish I know >.<~
8) I'm not sure I can do it at all...
9) the captain sets the direction huh, but what direction do I myself have?!


Yet, some part of me says...

10) I'm just being a coward and that I SHOULD step up...
11) I'm just being lazy not wanting to be shouldering responsibilities
12) technically, I'm one of the 'better' candidates so I should do it for the team
13) or for YL
14) maybe I'm just being scared of taking on too much, and pushing my limits and expectations again, so
15) I'm just making stupid excuses!!

BUT!

16) I don't want my studies to nosedive (okay not like i put in alot of effort usually... but stillll)
17) am I really worthy?!
18) I won't be back till July! and once again, I won't be able to help with anything! like trials, or coaching comm decisions, or holiday trainings
19) and I've been away for ONE YEAR. the year1s don't even know me!!
20) alamakkkkk... most importantly, why don't I want to do it...?

ARGH.

I really dislike such decisions. And dislike is just a really nice way of putting it.

~ st*rcr*ss*d ~

Labels: , ,